Post by lilly van allen ! on Apr 7, 2010 0:36:36 GMT -5
Seriously, take the time to read this
1. Buy Caius a puppy…act surprised when it turns into a human
Jacob: I’ll send Sam over
Sam: Don’t you dare
Edward: No, I think Jacob is a better choice
Jacob: Shut up blood sucker.
Caius: Do NOT buy me a puppy!
Heidi: That means he really wants one
2. Address them as Hughie, Louie and Dewey during their public meetings
Edward: Now why didn’t I think of that when I wanted to provoke them?
Jacob: Cause you’re just not that smart
Edward: Keep saying stuff like that and you might provoke me!
Jacob: Oh goody!
Bella: Boys!
Edward and Jacob: Yes ma’am
(Pause)
Jacob: He started it...
3. Suggest they move to a more…sunny location like the Bahamas
Rosalie: Oooh yes! I want to go to the Bahamas
Emmet: Sweetie…we can’t go.
Rosalie: (breaks salad bowl) dammit!
Aro: Such violence…tsk tsk
Emmet: That’s why she’s my gurrl!
Edward: Emmett stop with the thoughts!!!
4. Dress up as Voldemort and come in saying “Aro, I am your father!”
Aro: Who is this Voldemort?
Jasper: He said the name!
Alice: Edward, I think it would be very funny, you should do it!
Edward: And what happens after I go in as Voldemort?
Jasper: He said the name AGAIN!
Alice:…Um the outcome isn’t so…good, per se
Aro: No one answered my question…
5. Place witch’s hats in random places like the feeding room
Jane: I’ll kill you
Alec: You kill them anyways
Jane:…I’d enjoy it more
6. Hide blood bags under the stones in Volterra:
Aro: No one has answered my question about Voldemort
Jasper: He said it AGAIN
Emmett: What is your damage dude?
(Pause)
Edward: Voldemort?
Jasper: AHHHHH!
Emmett: This could be fun…
Bella: You guys please!
Emmett and Edward: Yes ma’am
7. Steal all their black capes
Jacob: I bet all they have is their knickers under there
Felix: *blushes*
Bella: Jacob did you have to give us that mental image
Edward: You just had to imagine it…I SAW it!!!
Esme: I would’ve liked to
(all stare)
Esme: What?
8. Put pink dye in their shampoo:
Heidi: No!
Rosalie: Yes!
Heidi: Come over here and just try!
Rosalie: I think I will!
Jasper: I should try and calm the—
Rosalie: Voldemort…
Jasper: ARGH!!!!!
9. Buy them the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Aro: Who is this Buffy?
Emmet: Dude, you really need to get with the program.
Jane: Buffy is a vampire slayer.
Jacob: Thank you captain obvious
Aro: What?! How have we not found and kill—I mean conversed with her?
Marcus: *rolls eyes*
Edward: Should we let them know she’s fictional?
Bella: nah
10. Introduce them to Stephenie Meyer
Aro: Who?
Emmet: Do you live in a sealed tower?
Aro: Why yes I do!
Emmet: *facepalm*
Caius: Is she related to Volde—
Jasper: DON’T YOU DARE!
Rosalie: What you mean Voldemort?
Jasper: AHHH!
Rosalie: Heh Heh
Carlisle: …who IS Stephenie Meyer?
Stephenie: *facepalms*
11. Put signs everywhere that say “Party at the Volutri’s Secret Layer at Midnight, directions below!”
Demetri: Yeah! Free food! Paaaarty!
Heidi: I don’t know him…
Alice: Should we bring our music?
Edward: We’re not going
Alice: Oh yes we are! I already bought a dress!
Bella: Already?
Alice: I was invited two months ago!
Carlisle: If it’s secret…?
Esme: Don’t strain yourself, dear.
Aro: Where is this party exactly?
Everyone: *facepalm*
12. Send them a set of novelty mugs with “World’s Greatest Uncle” on them from Nessie
Aro: I think these are quite lovely!
Caius: What do we use these for?
Demetri: Are these from the vampire baby?
Renesmee: I am not a vampire OR a baby
Edward: Yes you are!
Jacob: Oh no she it NOT! Mmhmm!
Edward: Stop with the thoughts!
Jacob: What? Not your fault your daughter is hot.
Renesmee and Bella: Actually it is
Edward: Bella we’re hunting wolf tonight.
13. Hum the Mission Impossible Song as you try to take incriminating pictures of the Volturi.
Jasper: like them leaping over building, stopping bullets…that sounds like superman
Aro: Is this my cue to say Voldemort, Rosalie?
Rosalie: Yup
Jasper: AHHHH! I hate you all!
Alice: I think I should stop them but the outcome is just sooo funny!
Edward: what happens?
Alice: Well, it’s not funny for you guys but it is to me!
(Pause)
Emmett: …Does it involve sex?
Alice and Jasper: EMMETT!
Edward: My brain!
Caius: What is Mission Impossible?
Emmett: I’m not even going to say anything…
14. Show Aro all the…intimate scenes between Rosalie and Emmett
Aro: This might actually be interesting
15. Get them to DJ their own party
Emmett: Are you kidding me? The men don’t even know who Buffy or Voldemort are, let alone how to DJ!
Jasper: (breaks into tears) You’re all so mean to me!
Alice: Now look what you did! You broke his powers!
Emmett: I didn’t mean too!
1. Buy Caius a puppy…act surprised when it turns into a human
Jacob: I’ll send Sam over
Sam: Don’t you dare
Edward: No, I think Jacob is a better choice
Jacob: Shut up blood sucker.
Caius: Do NOT buy me a puppy!
Heidi: That means he really wants one
2. Address them as Hughie, Louie and Dewey during their public meetings
Edward: Now why didn’t I think of that when I wanted to provoke them?
Jacob: Cause you’re just not that smart
Edward: Keep saying stuff like that and you might provoke me!
Jacob: Oh goody!
Bella: Boys!
Edward and Jacob: Yes ma’am
(Pause)
Jacob: He started it...
3. Suggest they move to a more…sunny location like the Bahamas
Rosalie: Oooh yes! I want to go to the Bahamas
Emmet: Sweetie…we can’t go.
Rosalie: (breaks salad bowl) dammit!
Aro: Such violence…tsk tsk
Emmet: That’s why she’s my gurrl!
Edward: Emmett stop with the thoughts!!!
4. Dress up as Voldemort and come in saying “Aro, I am your father!”
Aro: Who is this Voldemort?
Jasper: He said the name!
Alice: Edward, I think it would be very funny, you should do it!
Edward: And what happens after I go in as Voldemort?
Jasper: He said the name AGAIN!
Alice:…Um the outcome isn’t so…good, per se
Aro: No one answered my question…
5. Place witch’s hats in random places like the feeding room
Jane: I’ll kill you
Alec: You kill them anyways
Jane:…I’d enjoy it more
6. Hide blood bags under the stones in Volterra:
Aro: No one has answered my question about Voldemort
Jasper: He said it AGAIN
Emmett: What is your damage dude?
(Pause)
Edward: Voldemort?
Jasper: AHHHHH!
Emmett: This could be fun…
Bella: You guys please!
Emmett and Edward: Yes ma’am
7. Steal all their black capes
Jacob: I bet all they have is their knickers under there
Felix: *blushes*
Bella: Jacob did you have to give us that mental image
Edward: You just had to imagine it…I SAW it!!!
Esme: I would’ve liked to
(all stare)
Esme: What?
8. Put pink dye in their shampoo:
Heidi: No!
Rosalie: Yes!
Heidi: Come over here and just try!
Rosalie: I think I will!
Jasper: I should try and calm the—
Rosalie: Voldemort…
Jasper: ARGH!!!!!
9. Buy them the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Aro: Who is this Buffy?
Emmet: Dude, you really need to get with the program.
Jane: Buffy is a vampire slayer.
Jacob: Thank you captain obvious
Aro: What?! How have we not found and kill—I mean conversed with her?
Marcus: *rolls eyes*
Edward: Should we let them know she’s fictional?
Bella: nah
10. Introduce them to Stephenie Meyer
Aro: Who?
Emmet: Do you live in a sealed tower?
Aro: Why yes I do!
Emmet: *facepalm*
Caius: Is she related to Volde—
Jasper: DON’T YOU DARE!
Rosalie: What you mean Voldemort?
Jasper: AHHH!
Rosalie: Heh Heh
Carlisle: …who IS Stephenie Meyer?
Stephenie: *facepalms*
11. Put signs everywhere that say “Party at the Volutri’s Secret Layer at Midnight, directions below!”
Demetri: Yeah! Free food! Paaaarty!
Heidi: I don’t know him…
Alice: Should we bring our music?
Edward: We’re not going
Alice: Oh yes we are! I already bought a dress!
Bella: Already?
Alice: I was invited two months ago!
Carlisle: If it’s secret…?
Esme: Don’t strain yourself, dear.
Aro: Where is this party exactly?
Everyone: *facepalm*
12. Send them a set of novelty mugs with “World’s Greatest Uncle” on them from Nessie
Aro: I think these are quite lovely!
Caius: What do we use these for?
Demetri: Are these from the vampire baby?
Renesmee: I am not a vampire OR a baby
Edward: Yes you are!
Jacob: Oh no she it NOT! Mmhmm!
Edward: Stop with the thoughts!
Jacob: What? Not your fault your daughter is hot.
Renesmee and Bella: Actually it is
Edward: Bella we’re hunting wolf tonight.
13. Hum the Mission Impossible Song as you try to take incriminating pictures of the Volturi.
Jasper: like them leaping over building, stopping bullets…that sounds like superman
Aro: Is this my cue to say Voldemort, Rosalie?
Rosalie: Yup
Jasper: AHHHH! I hate you all!
Alice: I think I should stop them but the outcome is just sooo funny!
Edward: what happens?
Alice: Well, it’s not funny for you guys but it is to me!
(Pause)
Emmett: …Does it involve sex?
Alice and Jasper: EMMETT!
Edward: My brain!
Caius: What is Mission Impossible?
Emmett: I’m not even going to say anything…
14. Show Aro all the…intimate scenes between Rosalie and Emmett
Aro: This might actually be interesting
15. Get them to DJ their own party
Emmett: Are you kidding me? The men don’t even know who Buffy or Voldemort are, let alone how to DJ!
Jasper: (breaks into tears) You’re all so mean to me!
Alice: Now look what you did! You broke his powers!
Emmett: I didn’t mean too!
